Don’t Let it fool You

I’m laying here listening to Bon Iver…which is probably my music flavor of the month. I really like his music…however as I type this I am realizing it’s very mellow, somewhat depressing music. I tend to like this type of music, perhaps because it kinda fits my mellow personality. However, It’s probably best if I were to listen to less depressing music, because it doesn’t do much to lift my spirits. Where is my Guster cd?

What in the hell am I going to do with myself? I ask that and people say “do photography”, but that’s a tough way to try and make a living.

My mom asked me today if I were to meet a bubbly, outgoing girl would I talk more. She also said she was concerned that I’m not being social enough at this point in my life. My dad told me today I should get married. I am seriously turning into George Costanza. I think they are trying to tell me something.

A girl I met for the first time the other day told me I reminded her of Forest Gump. She said it was a good thing, but I’m not sure how there is anyway to take that as a good thing. Then, later on she told me I am a cross between Napoleon Dynamite and Forest Gump. Is there any reason whatsoever to think that is a good thing other than Napoleon D. had some sweet dance moves? I say not really.

Seriously, what in the hell do I do with myself? Where do I live? How do I make it all happen? Is this why people go to church?

I often times try to think at what point in my life did I make the wrong decision to put myself on a path of making things really difficult on myself. It tends to always lead to sports decisions…should I have kept playing baseball because I was really good and it was my favorite sport and I might have done something with that….should I have played college basketball which probably would have increased my chances of graduating college? But then I think that I am wired to live my own life and do things outside of the playbook and create my own path…and this is how my life is supposed to be. I dunno…just things I think about when I’m feeling sorry for myself I suppose. I’ve passed up on so many things this year alone that would have really sent me on a new path…I’m starting to wonder why I didn’t pull the trigger when in the past I would have without much thought. I’m becoming more selective in all aspects of my life, I suppose not wanting to waste time on the wrong things. However, I worry I’m becoming too selective. Who knows.