the life and times of being a Sainter

I eat too much. I feel like crap after a lot of meals i eat. I think i need to majorly change my eating habits. I’m sure if i became a vegetarian i wouldn’t feel so bad, but not a chance in hell that is happening.

I did go to the grocery for the first time in about a month today…if that tells you anything about my eating habits.

When i was back home in indiana a few weeks ago, i went to visit one of my childhood buddies Ike at the restaurant he runs. I hadn’t really been back to that town where i grew up in a long time. So being the guy he is, he thought it would be fun to take me back and give me a tour of the good ol’ days. One of the places he forced me to visit was the catholic school i attended from the 5th grade to the 8th grade, where his aunt is now the principal and his younger cousin(who was in like 4th grade when i was there) is the librarian. I was very reluctant, but finally gave in…not that i had a choice since he was driving. Anyway, to All Saints we went. They had done a multi-million dollar renovation since i had been there, including a new church and gym, so it had changed a bit. Most of the school part was the exact same though. We used to use the cafateria as the gym when i was there. Some of the teachers who are now teaching there were people i went to school with. It was a bit bizarre. It did bring back memories though, like the time my best friend Chadwick pushed me into the stall as i was relieving myself in the bathroom during the 6th grade, which caused me to relieve myself all over my pants. It was probably the most embarrasing moment of my school life. We aren’t talking about a little bit on my pants, i was basically soaked. I basically had to soak my pants in water in hopes that i wouldn’t smell, and of course in our tiny class of 40, word spread fast that i pissed all over myself. I was hoping they would let me go home and change, but no dice.

Some other highlights were remembering how excited we all were when we got microwaves in the cafeteria. Also when the computer bus would show up and we played Oregon Trail. We had some intense recess touch football games. I remember Adkins would always come in with torn clothes and dirty as hell. He was my go to reciever though, maybe the best quarterback-reciever combination in school yard history. This one kid named Yuta Suzuki once got a -5 on a test. We used to get negative points if we didn’t write our name on the paper. So he forgot to write his name, and also missed every single question. That was classic. I remember Jeff setting the church on fire when he was an alter boy, after dropping a candle, and then trying to stomp it out. I remember Gerth falling asleep during every single tuesday morning mass we had to go to. I remember when Ike and I were put in charge of raising the Flag for the first time in front of the school. We accidentally put it upside down somehow and didn’t realize it, and of course he got in major trouble and i got off scott free simply because of our reputations. I remember in the 7th grade when the school decided we should have electives. One of the electives was juggling. So i learned how to juggle by taking a juggling class for an entire semester at a catholic school in the 7th grade. I remember when Chadwick broke his arm after jumping off the swing set. I remember faking playing the flute in a school musical. I remember stealing a girl from one of my best friends in the 6th grade…only to have her stolen from me by my best friend a little later. I remember jeff falling asleep in the bathroom stall on the last day of school because he was upset about the teacher making fun of him. I remember having half days because the school had no air-conditioning. I remember having to bring wet wipes and cleanex on the first day of school for the teacher. I remember not being able to find my desk on the first day of school in the 5th grade because it was the first time anybody had written out my name in cursive as Joseph. I was practically in tears. Those were the days.